In loving memory of our gentle giant

A cloud of overwhelming sadness looms over us tonight as we try to understand what just happened. Budda, our darling big kitty who was never anything but a gentle giant has passed away. There was little warning. At around 4pm today as the cold front rolled in I went into our bedroom to put the heater on for our cats. I saw Budda seemed to be wheezing a bit and seemed off colour. I thought he may just have scoffed too many biscuits so I stroked him and settled him next to the heater. I came back 10 minutes later to check on him and he seemed really uncomfortable and was then breathing erratically and his twin brother Casper was very agitated and sniffing him. I got a fright. I checked him over tried to pry his mouth open to see if I could perhaps see if he had swallowed something but he didn't wanted to be lifted at all. His eyes were so pink rimmed and his little pink nose looked purple so I ran to get the cat carrier, called Andy to tell him and rushed to the vet. Once at the vet he almost seemed ok again and I wondered if I had perhaps been hysterical but Andy had joined us at the vet by then and said we should have him checked. Within minutes he was in massive cardiac arrest on the vets table and it soon became apparent that he was suffocating and so deep in arrest he could not even take the oxygen mask. The vet met our eyes and suggested he quickly intervene with euthanasia to at least stop the suffocation suffering. We agreed. It was plain to see he was going. He was so blue. My sweet husband stayed right to the end, waited while postmortem fluids and bloods were taken and while the vet staff wrapped and prepared him to bring home. He then arrived home a little after me with our boy. We have him wrapped in a favorite blanket in the carrier with the lid off so his brothers and sisters may say bye bye. They have each come and taken turns to do what they need to. It sounds macabre to make an observation like this but it is amazing to observe how each cat responds. I believe his spirit is still there for a bit and wanted a soothing passing for him at home, warm, sibling kitties around and his candle burning near him for the night. Tomorrow he shall be buried near his favorite spot under the willow tree. What a shock. So sad. I feel a terrible sore pain. He came to us at just 2 weeks old on deaths door, had to be bottle fed and cotton wool groomed and then became our big big beautiful boy. Always gentle, always ready to snuggle, always a hello bump and swirl between our legs in the mornings. A true friend to all our cats. We love him so. I'm sure storm will guide him as he makes his way to meet her over the bridge. RIP our gentle giant.